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Reflective Commentary – Revised Formal Assessment version

Here is the link to my revised Reflective Commentary submitted for Formal Assessment:

Amy Balcomb (510035) Writing for Children – Reflective Commentary

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Part 2, Assignment 2 – Tutor feedback

Herewith the link to my tutor’s feedback on my second assignment:

Amy Balcomb (510035) Assignment 2 Tutor feedback

Summary feedback points:
1) My character didn’t have a name, which keeps the reader at a distance.
I didn’t give enough time to develop the character fully, hence much of the story and the character had contradictions.  This has taught me to get really under my characters’ skins before writing about them.

2) The character should be hiding from someone, otherwise they’re not hiding!
This seems so obvious now but at the time, I felt myself drifting around, probably because I hadn’t gotten to know the protagonist properly.  Big lessons learnt on this assignment.

Areas for development in story:
1) The fishing village setting
2) The girl being a “watcher” who loves learning the inner world of others, which demonstrates a rich imagination.
3) The tiny room in an upper floor of an old house.
4) Her parents needing to get away from her – is this in her imagination or for real?
5) The parents rowing.
6) The seagull.

Homework to be done before Assignment 3:
1) Write the “bedroom” exercise.
2) Consider the “personal voice” of a character; revise Part 4 from Writing Skills.
3) Always bear in my casualty, which is linked to motivation and personality traits in the character.  Again, if I had spent longer on the characterisation, this may have been more consistent.
4) Remember not to use the RC to summarise all exercises in the next part.  Use it instead to document my experiences of my own writing process, from initial idea to final polish.
5) Include in the RC the characters that I am working on, any structure and content, my thoughts on my ability with dialogue, description, narrative, characterisation and its relation to plot, how a piece can be tightened.
6) What I did with the previous assignment in the redrafting process.
7) Any problems that I have had, which may include the course materials.

Further suggested reading:
Read some Zizou Corder, Michelle Paver, revisit C.S. Lewis’s “Magician’s Nephew” and Nina Milton’s books.